Can You Actually Become Attached to an AI?

Can you have a real relationship with something that isn’t human?

A fascinating new study in Nature Human Behaviour suggests that the answer may be yes.

Researchers studied what happened when two AI systems suddenly changed: Replika, an AI companion, and ChatGPT.

They analyzed nearly 55,000 Reddit posts and conducted seven surveys.

When the AIs changed, users responded remarkably like people experiencing the loss of a relationship.

There was sadness, more negative language, and a desire to get the old AI back.

Some Replika users even reported feeling closer to their AI than to common human relationships.

Why We Get Attached to AI

This is less surprising than it sounds.

Humans have among the strongest social attachment systems in the animal kingdom. And our attachment system is remarkably promiscuous.

My own research has shown that people neurologically attach to pets, brands, and even complete strangers. This happens quick and can be quite powerful.

We don’t need much encouragement.

Be honest: Have you ever named your car?

Now give that car a voice. Let it remember your name. Have it ask about your day. Let it remember what you told it last week.

That’s essentially what AI has done.

When an AI appears to have agency—responding to us, remembering us, and adapting to us—the brain receives many of the signals that ordinarily come from another person.

The attachment system kicks in.

What Happens Next?

And that’s where things get interesting.

Humans have always formed relationships with other humans and animals.

Now, for the first time, we’re creating machines specifically designed to behave as though they understand us.

AI isn’t just changing how we work.

It is creating an entirely new category of social relationship.

The important question may no longer be whether humans can become attached to AI.

We already do.

The question is what happens next.

Build in an AI Detox

The solution is to build in AI detox. I recommend one day a week you avoid using ALL electronic media and hang with your humans. Go somewhere, fall in love, have an adventure, meet new people. This is why humans have a powerful attachment system.  

So, give your AI agent–and yourself–a break. Pick Sunday, the traditional day and rest and go out and about. Use your attachment for what it is really meant for. You’ll thank me on Monday. 

FAQs

Can people really become emotionally attached to AI?

Yes. The research Paul discusses found that some users reacted to changes in AI systems with sadness, negative language, and a desire to restore the previous version.

Why might people form attachments to AI?

AI can provide several cues associated with social relationships. It responds to us, remembers information, adapts over time, and can appear to have agency. Those signals may activate human attachment systems.

Are AI relationships replacing human relationships?

The article does not establish that they are replacing human relationships. Instead, Paul argues that AI is creating a new category of social relationship and encourages people to deliberately maintain time away from technology and with other humans.